Minggu, 03 Januari 2016

Still (was meant to post on June 2013)

Is a dream has its meaning?
or it's just meaningless?

My dream. it's worth something.

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à Prague, le 5 décembre 2009. aube.

" arc en ciel, tu me manque "
(ctrl a delete. shutting off laptop)

Putain, I'm still a loser all along! Maybe he had the same dream, should i call him? No! It's almost 3 in Dublin. He must be sleeping.

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In Prague, that morning, it's going to rain. Here I am, in the most beautiful city in the world. My dream city to live. A city to escape.

Beep..beep..beep..beep..

"Hi Dear, udah bangun?"
"Hey Mom, yeah already. Had some trouble sleeping again. Lagi ngapain Mom?"
"Oh my poor baby. Lagi siapin makanan buat si kakak. Sayang kapan kamu pulang?"
"Belum tau Mom, mungkin March. I wanna spend new year here."
"Alright Just tell me if you change your mind, okay?
"Okay Mom, Bye. I love you."
"Bye baby, take care."

Di kota ini, aku mencoba berlari. Mungkin sudah sangat lama. 2 tahun aku berlari dari segalanya, dari masa lalu, kenyataan, pekerjaanku, dan dari seseorang..Pelangi.

I am an artist, a painter, also an individualist. I got a few friends here. Sejak tahun 2007, semua sistem dalam diriku berubah. Aku sendu, terlebih lagi kalau hujan sudah mengguyur kota ini dan aku benci akhir dari hujan.
Karena selalu ada pelangi. Mungkin aku bodoh, berlari sampai ke belahan dunia lain, berlari dari pelangi.
It's a nature. I can't defeat it.

I am just a human and he is like the earth. Pulling me like a gravity. That's why we were so compatible.

Untuk semua masa lalu ku, bahagia, tawa, tangis dan sedih. Aku simpan dalam kotak Pandora. Aku kunci dengan rapat, agar tidak ada celah untuk terbuka sedikitpun. I am lost between midnight and dawn. I am still lost. Almost every night, I still have those dreams. Dreams from the Pandora. I'm crying in my sleep.

Entah menangis karena kenangan, tersadar bahwa itu bukan realita atau karena bahagia melihatnya lagi dalam mimpi. Merasakan bahagia itu dalam mimpi.

-TO BE CONTINUED-


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